Well, Since You Asked
by Nixariel
Summary: Where Sarah talks, Jareth listens, and they both behave like mature adults-ish. Rated T for Jareth, who can raise a story's rating just by walking through it, and what we all know he's doing with those *snicker* balls. Not as suggestive as it sounds.


Disclaimer: I don't own _The Labyrinth_ 'cause if I did there would definitely be a TV series. And more of the Hat.

This takes place a few years after the movie. Sarah has kept in contact with the Labyrinth, except with Jareth. However, she has noticed crystals in...certain...locations. Thus, she is startled but somewhat unsurprised to find Jareth knocking on her window late one night. They get into a conversation and Jareth asks the Big Question. Here is Sarah's answer. There are supposed to be certain larger blank spaces where Jareth responds (and I am tempted to do a companion fic that is his side of the conversation) but this site is not feeling particularly amiable today so I had to make do with dots. So, three dots on an otherwise empty line means Jareth is speaking something suitably Jareth-y. Otherwise...enjoy!

* * *

Listen up, Goblin King, 'cause you're the one who wants to know why I rejected you. That means I don't have to put up with your crap. More importantly, I WON'T put up with your crap. The hissy fit with the Cleaners? Yeah, that's the kind of crap I'm talking about.

And while you're listening, that "Fear me, love me, do as I say" shtick you've got going on? Like hell. Fear and love and obedience - that's worship, not a relationship. I'm not a damn dog, Goblin King!

Seeing as you're not even human, I had hoped to avoid any Neanderthal instincts.

Such a pity.

You know, I think I finally understand why you like saying that. It's…surprisingly satisfying.

Erm. Well. Moving on…

I grew up.

You have no one to blame but yourself for this, because it's your Labyrinth that got me to leave childhood behind. I am what you made me. Kind of ironic, isn't it?

Anyway, I realized that the world did not revolve around me. That I can't expect it to care about my petty desires and that those petty desires may not be what I truly want anyway. Sometimes, even if they are what I really want, it's not worth the price.

Before you ask, yes, Toby was a part of why I said no. He was a brat (and still is at times), but so was I. The difference was that I verbalized better. He didn't deserve to be wished away and I hope one day he'll forgive me for that. Had I willingly spent time with him before I said The Words, I don't think I would have been able to say them. He's actually kinda cute…in a slobbery way.

If you say anything about maternal instincts, especially in relation to any theoretical offspring you may spawn, I. Will. Hurt. You.

As I was saying, Toby was just one reason to refuse. Granted, he was a large and quite compelling reason to refuse, but if it had just been about him, I would have called you as soon as I got him settled and said "Take me, I'm yours."

That was NOT an invitation.

Actually, that's why I never called you and that's why I wouldn't have said yes even if Toby hadn't been an issue.

I can't trust you, Goblin King.

...

Yes, I did give you a chance. You had the whole Labyrinth and ten hours of my attention. That's more than enough opportunity. And what was the result?

I can't trust you to mean what you seem to be saying. I can't trust you to take what I say and not twist it around. I can't trust you to not use your magic on me.

...

I KNOW!

I know I said you have no power over me. But we both know that there are ways around that and I can't trust you not to use those ways. Do you know how frightening that is, Goblin King? To fear that anything you touch, any gift you accept could be a trap? Something to be construed as taking you up on your offer? I'm not even sure what's real sometimes because what if it's already happened and this is just you messing with my mind?

Congratulations, Goblin King, you have officially done a number on my head. Well done. As if my parents haven't screwed me up enough already.

That…wasn't very kind of me. Sorry.

Fair, though.

Sorry, again. That was supposed to be funny.

But yeah, that's it in a nutshell. I can't trust you and trust is the foundation for any kind of healthy relationship.

...

Yes, no matter how sexy your hair is or how tight your pants are. Sheesh.

So, you have your explanation and I have your explicit promise that there will be no spying on me in bathrooms, my bedroom, or in any area where I change and/or remove clothing. Anything else? It's late and I'm tired.

...

Huh? And it's Hog-_gle_. What about him?

...

'Cause he came through for me in the end. He made one helluva mistake, but he's my friend. He deserved a second chance.

Whoa-ho-ho. I see where you're going. That was a completely different situation. I trusted Hoggle before he gave me that peach and _you_ intimidated him into doing it.

...

He thought he was a coward! He got over it!

...

Because I made you recite that promise word for word exactly as I said it. You're a tricky bastard and you enjoy your "creative interpretation" far too much, but you've never gone back on your word. For better or for worse.

...

Alright. We can't pretend that the past never happened, but…maybe…another chance wouldn't hurt. I'm willing to try….Friendship?

Hello, Your Majesty. My name is Sarah.

...

Jareth, then.

...

No, this does not mean I release you from the no peeping promise.

(_Hmm. Just "friendship" may be harder than I thought_)

* * *

You know, I have to wonder what you really thought the "Big Question" would be. I do hope at least some of you were surprised, but I'm not holding my breath.

As always, this fic was mostly prompted by certain issues I had with the Labyrinth fandom.

Sarah made the only decision she could have lived with afterward and it was surprisingly mature.

Her relationship with Toby should have improved after she was willing to give him the time of day, but no sibling relationship ever runs smooth. My little brother is only six years younger and I never had to babysit him by myself until long after he was fully capable of coherent speech (a thank-you to my older brother here) but we still have our rough times. Toby would probably be upset if he finds out his sister wished him away but she also fought remarkably hard to get him back. As convenient and poetic as it would be plot-wise, I hardly think Toby would really wish his sister away. If he did, he'd certainly run it to get her back (and try to break her record to boot). It's what siblings do: we play, fight, sometimes play-fight, make up, and do it all over again.

As for Jareth, he is an idiot if he thinks that any self-respecting woman would have taken him up on his offer. Whatever happened to female empowerment? C'mon girls, give ourselves a little self-respect. We are not ruled by our hormones. We are not incomplete without a man in our lives. Love's not a darn crutch! And if Sarah managed to hold her ground after being dosed with some seriously funky fruit _and_ confronted by Extra Sparkly JarethTM, she's hardly going to roll over for Regular Strength JarethTM.

Furthermore, a guy trying to impress a girl would have better luck with said girl if he makes nice, not goblins, with the girl's family. Propositioning when still a minor is not smiled upon either. o.O

The Hat, however, is awesome and does not get nearly enough love. The same with the Worm, and possibly Ambrosius.

Best line in the entire movie: "It's so stimulating being your hat."

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